Dennis the Menace is a Forewarning

Remember when Dennis the Menace was a homophobic, window smashing scumbag? Those were the days.

Bullying effeminate neighbours and shooting ball bearings at people from point-blank range are the making of a complete prick, but it’s a pretty genius idea to make the bad guy the main protagonist in a children’s comic magazine. At least then there was some fire in his belly for kids to get excited about.

I watched a new Dennis the Menace cartoon today and it was about how sloppy kisses from his aunties are the cure to hiccups. While the old stuff probably encouraged kids to be turdbags, sanitisation like that will lead to a generation of unthoughtful, helpless meat puppets. (Artist’s impression below)

(That’s a government approved food cube being directed into his mouth)

Having said all of that, kids don’t really settle for cutesy muck anyway, it’s all about thongs and lazer drugs nowadays.


P.S. I was more of a Calamity James kind of man.